March 31, 2010

Eating Sesame Sticks

It's crazy how my interests change over time. When I was younger this used to be one of my favorite records. I listened to it so often and always thought it was so girly and boring that my mom would grow plants in the garden.  Music was so much cooler to me then.  My wife wouldn't put up with how I used to last my records.  Plus I think she appreciates it more in this state.  The things we do for people.

Maria (that's my wife) still has her stuffed bunny in our bed.  Do you see me taking that apart to make myself an ottoman to stretch my feet out on?  Na ja, I like to garden now.  Just sometimes I question how much of myself I sacrifice of my 'old self' whatever that means.  She still has her childhood treasure as a relic, her stuffed bunny and she keeps it in such an intimate place.  In our bed! All I see of the old me when I look around this house is my favorite record, now a flower pot painted yellow.  Who am I?

My favorite record becoming a pot.  Is it change or letting the plant dry out?  Shall a new plant be planted? my former record?

Such a new form, a new use and another place in the house.  Yeah,  I did this for you Maria.  I transformed myself, I molded who I am to be who you would like to love.  Watching the red sun on our garden, eating Sesame Sticks.

Talking about us.

All this time, Talking about us.  I don't know what I actually told you all this time.  I will always see the pot as my favorite record.  But I learn how to like the plant in it;  Liking myself who likes plants, this comes harder. 
We'll talk about it later...I love you darling!

A paper airplane hits me on the back of the head.
--Daddy, Daddy look what I made!
--Great, that's so great, did you make that all by yourself?
--All by myself, mam didn't even help me, I swear
 --Show me how it that's cool!
Junior is always a reminder to me why it's so important to have this love for Maria.  It's my responsibility.  It's not all about me anymore.  What is music, or a plant, or even a stuffed bunny to a child?

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